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How to NOT play Fort-nite (ette)

America,admit it. You can lay claim to putting the first man on the moon, the discovery of the light bulb and the invention of the Fort-nite dance rituals. Unless you've been hiding under a rock, you've probably seen every able bodied adolescent attempt "the floss" or "the hype". If we're being honest there's a fair sum of adults, who shoulda left the dance moves in the 80's with the hammer pants, who may have attempted a time or two (and possibly thrown their back out in the process...just sayin').


So here's my steps to NOT playing Fort Nite or attempting the dances:


1. "Floss" belongs to the teeth. This feels pretty self explanatory. If you have the desire to swing your hips side to side in quick succession, go clean your teeth instead. I just made a world of dentists happy with this one. (A.K.A. replace one silly habit with a good one). You're welcome.


2. Watch yo'self. It's like the knock-knock joke that will not end. In "the hype" you just keep knocking the air like your knocking on heaven's door. If you can take a morning selfie, you can figure out just how these moves might not be for you. Just because it ranks better than plumbers crack on the list of embarrassments doesn't mean you go after it. (A.K.A. Show restraint. We need more self-control in the world)\


3. For why you dancing friend (or playing that silly game)? Let's examine the motivation. If it be because you got your hairs done, or you need to get that kiddo to smile or you celebrate a full day of eating well...then DANCE ON my friend. If it's cuz everyone else is dancing, we need to have a chat. It's a matter of authenticity. In the battle of self discovery, hold the ground you've already won. Not everyone dances, or likes dancing or rocks a leotard like Jane Fonda. Try something new. Be different. Maybe the waltz or Clean & Jerk are on your list of passions...for pete's sake...do those! (AKA Originality).


We need Originality, Quality, Self Control and Pure Joy on this freakin' planet. Dance because you know you, your moves, your talents, your potential. You know these things because you've spent a good amount of time with you. If we're being honest, the times when you are not you, are when you are the unhappiest. You're a successful person dag-nab-it! And successful people don't numb hard with screens and other peoples' ideas of success. They just don't. They go forth, full of faith, and Courage Strong and DO things!


Figure out who you be, then figure out what you do.


So if your dance looks a lot more like a camel having a seizure in the rain then God Bless. You do you. The world is better because of it.





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