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Misty Woodland


Truthette serves as a vessel to project my passions, and clue in my fellow humans as to what inspires me in this crazy world. So, sit back, relax, and read on.



I don't wear makeup much. I'm just not good at it. Ask me to produce a smokey eye and I will probably come a runnin' at you with a fire extinguisher.

I have friends who know the difference between"Blush and Bashful" shades, can spot an eyebrow job from a mile away, have mastered the 5 minute face, and in general rock the makeup world in profound ways!. When the topic arises amongst my amigos,they are polite, encouraging and all of them say the same thing "Try YouTube. You can learn anything on YouTube."

So let's put this in perspective. There are more Makeup Tutorials (5.3 Million in 2016) on YouTube than species in the entire Animal Kingdom (hovering above 2 million). Perspective.

Soooooo, on the off chance that I do not have 7.8 billion minutes to learn contouring, blending, applying and rinsing in this lifetime, I opt for none. It has been said that "In this day with all this information at our fingertips, ignorance is a choice." Yes, ma'am. It is.

So I am offering my own Tutorial on How to NOT wear Makeup.

1. Sport black stretchy workout pants: Your make-up-less face could be interpreted as athletic and healthy. Hey, who am I to get in the way of another's assumptions.

2.Avoid Mirrors: This is one of my favorite games. I'm super good at it too. When walking past a mirror, prior to sucking in but after noticing a pasty reflection that may or may not be you, just keep right on walking.

3. Smile: This one is powerful. A true smile radiates all kinds of beauty. Mostly internal stuff. So smile like you've been up to something awesome (cause more then likely, you are)!

4. Seek help: If you are lucky enough to have a lifelong friend who can say "Girl, we can do better". Do yourself a favor and say "Yes" with gusto, gratitude and zero offense. Like an artist needing a new canvas or a druggie needing a new fix, let them use you to paint on. Maybe this wasn't the best example. You get the point. There are people who go to school to apply makeup in competent ways. Use their expertise.

5. Stop caring: This one is essential and involves breathing. Deeply. Like from Chakra #1.

So there it is! My 5 steps to NOT wearing makeup.

You're welcome.

Stay tuned next week for my blog on "How to Not play Fortnite".

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Girl in a Forest


Portland, OR 97133, USA

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