There's a snippet of guilt when I confess my love for all things Fall and yet don't decorate for it. Like having a snag in my favorite wool sweater, it's a guilty tug on my heart. I don't decorate. I think about it, but eh, not this year (or any year). I don't have storage containers, neatly stacked and labeled for each and every season. I think about it, but I've never been great at Tetris. Hell, I don't even color coordinate my family pictures. A:Too many conversations that end with "Because I said so" and B: I really just want to look at my kids in their favorite clothes and remember THAT. Explaining the subtle differences in the colors Blush and Bashful to 3 boys is my version of purgatory. Also, I do not play with my kids at the park. I love watching them play at the park! However, my monkey bar days died with my crimped hair in the 90's about the time "Aqua-net" should've been outlawed.
And I am SOOO "Over" the subtle guilt from my innocuous blips in observance of the Homemaker's Code of Conduct. Over. It.
While we are on the subject, I'm also "Over" doing dishes and laundry. We operate on the clean pile vs. dirty pile protocol in this house pretty frequently (don't judge). It is standard that socks do not match. When they do, it warrants a "Huzzah" moment. When the piles get misinterpreted (eh hem...it happens) it warrants a solemn "Come to Jesus" understanding and brief lesson in the Art of Sniffing. One sniff people! That's all it takes. It is the easiest branch of Science.
Let's be honest, I'm "over" it but it's not over. So what to do? What to do?
I'm trying not to "Burden my remembrances" with these "shoulda's". I'm trying to smell the cinnamon in the air, sip cocoa and read Pride and Prejudice for the 58th time while ignoring my children frolicking in the dead leaves. I'm trying to drop "guilt" like it's hot, cause that's how it feels to me. I'm trying to bask in laughter at my mundane decor skills and inept Tetris ability and just feel the crisp air instead. I played a silly game of "Whose nose" with my kids today instead of putting laundry away. IT FELT GREAT.
So Fall, I apologize. You're my favorite season but based on my wreath that never changes and the Christmas cards still adorning my windows, you'd never know it. You'll just have to trust me on this one. I show love in different ways. Instead of outwardly scattering leaves on anyone standing still or shoving a pumpkin baked confection into every open mouth to announce your arrival, I will sniff for you instead.
Because that one I'm REALLY good at.