Do you remember that time you showed up while I was cooking 3 things, nursing a baby, sending a text, refereeing the kids latest spat while running late to teach yoga? Yes, I'm aware of the irony. You appeared forcefully beating the rhythm to Metallica on my heart. Well,when it comes to school starting, that's the way I feel you all the live long year.
This year though, you are no where to be found. I even nudged around my subconscious with the vague inclination I would use if I lost a screaming child in Joann's Fabric Store. I searched 'Peek-a-boo' style up a few isles of my mind. I wasn't sure if I was ready to find you at all. Don't feel bad though. I would search for my screaming kid with same luke-warm enthusiasm. Ah hah! Low and behold, I find you curled up in the fleece section (AKA fluff section of my mind).
So I'm writing to strike a bargain. When you pop in accompanied with a thought about the number of diminishing days that my mommy kisses actually heal things, BE GONE! When you show up on that rainy day like an itch at the back of my mind because we choose to community-homeschool ...KISS MY BUTT (respectfully)! When you knock on the door because I have a high school-er, well, you can stay. Sit in the corner, face the wall with a cone on your head until I say you're needed. You see, we've got pretty cool kids. They are greater than the sum of their parts for sure-sies. I get a front row seat to their process of "becoming". It's a sacred spot that I love, cherish and never take for granted.
It's not that I don't appreciate you, Anxiety. You definitely serve a purpose and propel change. I'd even say in a bizarre twist of fate, you make me better. I can love people more compassionately because I met you. It's just that you don't own me. So breathe with me, 3-2-1- School year has begun.
Don't forget about the sitting in the corner part.
Warmly (due to hot flashes),