There is nothing like trying to figure out the science of love. And nothing, I repeat NADA, would incline me to try to understand this if I weren't writing a screenplay. After months of staring at my main characters, willing them to fall for each other in an approachable yet classic way, they stared right back at me saying "Make me. I dare you."
Let me tell you, I do not need one more uneducated, white male talking back to me and being ungrateful, even if they only exist on paper. I've already got two sassy sons. James (that's my main character's name), you can bite me.
So I did what I always do when I get stuck; I got curious. I asked questions. So here's the question for today.
How do people fall in love?
Is it their sub-conscious connecting with someone else's subconscious...subconsciously? Ya, try writing THAT into a screenplay. Is it a higher power thing? It is a damsel in distress thing? I mean, I know I fell in love once. It's possible. But, how?!! Is it dynamics? Is it giving ourselves permission to love and be loved...a cosmic self conversation that we don't even know occurs? Stop me anytime. I could go on for days.
So I did what every mediocre wife does, I asked my husband. While he was watching a football game.
Me: How do people fall in love?
Kentastic: With football? You either like it or you don't.
Me: No, like with other people.
Kentastic: Is this a trick question?
Me: I mean, why did I fall in love with you?
Me: Did I just decide you were the one? Was it Divine Intervention? It's a decision thing, right? We decide to fall in love with each other every single day, right? Even when I almost burn the house down and you hoard shoes?
Me: I remember the moment. I was reading for my next class at University, sitting in a booth with the sun streaming in while drinking my hot chocolate.
Kentastic: You love chocolate.
Me: I do love chocolate but I realized that I loved you then. And you weren't even there.
Kentastic: Dude, I've been asking myself this question for 18 years.
Me: It's like I melted and.....
Enter light from on high, cue the angelic realms. The woman has seen the light.
Me: I've got it. Thanks hun!
Kentastic: Happy to help.
It's vulnerability, America! Being VULNERABLE! Not even a damsel (or duke, as the case may be) in-distress-thing. It's being broken and allowing another person to see how broken we are. Putting ourselves out there with the understanding that the other person could take it or leave it. He will not be able to fix her brokeness nor should he. However, they accept one another; holes, train wrecks, collateral damage, weakness, frustrations, limitations and all. Love is saying I'll endure with you. There is nothing more reassuring than knowing that someone is in the trenches with me, especially when the mud and bullets start a-flying. To fall in love, there are elements of honesty, tenderness, openness, curiosity, genuine tenderness and a crap-load of vulnerability.
Now excuse me. I have a super testy main character to teach some manners to. Wish me luck.