One of my favorite childhood books and movies is A Little Princess. This little chicka, Sara, was left destitute (seemingly) without love nor money and yet she was a princess. She wore rags but she was a princess. She became a servant but her self confidence thrived because...you guessed it...she knew she was a princess. Her imagination and hope saved her.
Say it with me now "I am Enough. I am Worthy."
I firmly believe that if the human race said this phrase to themselves everyday until they believed it, the "hustle" would slow to more of a "shuffle" than a "stand-still".
Self worth isn't earned. It just is. Just like the love of God isn't earned. It's just there. I've got a massive black void. For those of you familiar with Energetic Healing or Medicine this might resonate. It's between my shoulder blades all the days. It's not heavy usually. It's just empty. I've tried filling it up with time, tears, work, fitness, family, fear, food (why do they all start with "F";). You name it, I've thrown it on down my void.
Last week something brightened though. I acknowledged it. I sat with my void. I didn't give it a name (come on, I'm not THAT weird) but I observed it without judgement. Something happened. The edges of my void used to be made of quick sand cliffs, slippery and unforgiving. I would pace up and down the edge like a lion in a cage. Now I picture them being made of yarn, knitting around and around in a circle like those rag rugs for polished floors from Restoration Hardware..
But what do I fill it with?
Sara in a Little Princess shivered in the cold night air of her attic. Huddled around her dearest friend and fellow servant, they imagined a warm world. Their dream world had quilts and fires and food and so much warmth that they feel asleep comfortable even despite the snow lying on their bed. The only adult in their life was focused on breaking their spirits and stealing all light from inside them. These incredible girls filled their blackest of voids with the light of love, friendship and hope. Ain't no one gonna tell them that's not enough to fill even the blackest time. They woke up to a feast fit for a princess and warm clothes and every dream they ever had coming true.
So what am I going to fill my void with ? I'm focused on filling it with pure light and truth and hope, A.K.A. the love of God. It's the only thing that sticks around anyway and actually heals stuff.
Do I deserve it? No. But my Savior willingly gives me His love and healing anyway. I keep reminding Him of my shortcomings and mistakes. He doesn't seem to mind.
Sweet baby James people... let's get real! What's your void? What blackness sucks happy thoughts from you and throws only un-truths about your self worth your direction? Cause here's a secret...
You are enough. You are divine. You are worthy.
No one. I repeat NO ONE has sunk deeper than the Love of God can shine.
My void doesn't define me (for the record neither does my height, weight, education, # of kids, profession, skills, current lack thereof or the distance I can throw a shot-put ...approximately 2 inches). I am worthy. I am enough. When I strip away all the stuff, I'm raw and broken and blessed beyond measure.
I am worthy. I am enough.
I am worthy. I am enough.
Say it with me now. Lots.
Don't you feel better? It's because you just spoke a whole lot of truth about yourself to yourself. Say it loud, say it proud, say it often! Until you will believe it. Now go live it.