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Writing (ette)

Updated: Oct 14, 2019

Dear Google...


We, the collective human race have run out of digits to address how many times your services have been required. Every student, since at least 2005, has used you for research papers. To quote my brother's favorite law professor "There is no such thing as a stupid question. There are just some that should have been Googled first." You dress up for the day without being asked and you provide lightning quick answers without being threatened, which makes you mama's golden child. You help us think of the big and small stuff. For example, because of you we see more clearly the many, varied and unusual ways that two "o" letters can be manipulated into art or something closely related thereto. You've done alot of awesome in your short life. Hell, you've created your own flippin' verb (ex. I'll Google it)! How many websites can boast half such a resume?! So please don't be offended when I say this aloud but...


Google, you are wrong.


Deep breath. Deep mechanical breaths.


Not always. Just occasionally. It's okay. I still adore you. But let's talk about this.


For example, I was shocked senseless when I Googled my latest author infatuation, Ernest Hemingway, and found that Google understood him to be a "Journalist". A journalist!! "A person who writes for newspapers, magazines or news websites or prepares news to be broadcast." Dude, Google...that definition came from you!


Granted there is a lot of gray area in the world of writing. I like to dance around in between the lines of quite of few of those myself; blogging, children's stories, screenwriting and poetry. I kinda love words. I'm better at writing them then speaking them. I'm sure something regarding the world of writing has just been lost in translation for you. It's not your fault. Let me help. The best thing I can do is liken writing to another world that I love.


Blog writing is like yoga. Therapuetic in nature, breath focused with as many different interpretations as there are yogis in the world.


Journalism is a sprint. It's literature in a hurry.


Screenplay Writing (including comedy & drama) is like weightlifting. You take the heavy things in life and make them look easy enough for people to relate to. It's really like the clean & jerk movement. You get that bar up to your neck and realize real quick "oh, I don't got this" and throw that bar down or you sing"lightweight" and push that son-of-gun up over your head.


Author (fiction, non-fiction, literature, etc. basically the umbrella of the profession) is like swimming. In the ocean. Without a boat. You are literally writing in your head all. the. time. The ones who just keep swimming are the ones that find the shore long enough to catch their breath and start a new project because they can't help it.


Research Writing is like running. Not unlike a marathon that will not end. I was going to say it's like the bottomless pits one finds when "Splunking" but I can't address that with any level of intelligence. Being smart enough to never attempt base jumping is one of my better qualities.


And editing...phew. Editing is like the AED device that should be found in every gym. I'm not an editor and never claim to be. Not even gonna try and pretend.


I'm at the point in my writing career where I can say "Hello, my name is Kristin and I'm a writer." with minimal visible shaking. That's a win. Ernest Hemingway said it best. "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."


Writing, the really good kind, is simultaneously soul opening and soul crushing. So I understand where you could could get a little confused, Google. Lawd knows I do too. I respectfully submit that Hemingway was an Author. The just-keep-swimming guy. The willing-to-be-horrible-and-own-it guy. The tip-toeing-to-the-brink-of-impropriety-in-writing guy. The ignore-and-confront-your-demons-in-same-breath-guy. He did all the things.


So let's call him an Author. It's the least we can do.


Warmly,


Your fan

KG





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